Bed Time Routines

I never thought I would survive. I really didn't. I remember when Elizabeth was born. I thought I was prepared for the sleepless nights. I thought I was ready for the routines that we would set up. Oh yeah, I thought I was ready. Boy was I wrong. But I was wrong about a lot of things then. Just as I was wrong about a lot of things with Annie. I suffered loss with both. But that is a blog for another time. This blog is about survival. And providing hope to those reading this. Maybe some of you are going through this very same thing. Let me assure you, it can be survived. I promise. I told myself day in and day out that I will survive this. And sometimes I even had to say it out loud over and over again. I really didn't think I could survive the endless nights, screaming days. The tears. The frustrations. The not knowing what was wrong, how to make it stop. But guess what? One day, you wake up and it just happens. You survived. You find that that you actually survived.

For example, tonight. Tonight was my big realization. I got off of work and I picked up my girls.
I am usually very excited about this part of my day, although a little apprehensive as Tuesdays are spent by myself while Jason is in school. This makes me nervous as I am still uncertain about being by myself with two little girls. Especially with Annie having such high demands still and Elizabeth wanting so much of my time. We got home and Annie decided to take a little snoozer. Elizabeth and I made little sandwiches and glasses of milk for dinner. We washed our hands and then curled up on the sofa and watched some Phineas and Ferb. We played with my phone. (Lately she loves to watch the video I recorded of my dad's retirement party. She calls it Papa's Video) Then, before I knew it, Jason got home. I couldn't believe I had made it all night with my girls all calm and quiet. It was great. We fed Annie some solid food, managed to do a few dishes, spent some time with Elizabeth while we cuddled with Annie, then we finished our bedtime routine -- he put Annie to bed, I put Ellie to bed. And that was it. No fussing. No crying. The girls went right to sleep. I was amazed. Could it really be that easy? After 6 months of tears and crying and screaming and fussing, could it really be that easy? I think it can. I have been hesitant to voice my excitement that Annie has slept through the night 9-10 hours a night for the majority of the last 3 weeks, but now is time to share the news. I think it is safe to realize that I did survive! It can be done!

So for those of you still going through it, hang in there! There is an end. With Elizabeth, I got lucky. She was sleeping 12 hour nights and going to bed without fuss at 8 weeks of age. For a full term baby that is remarkable, for a three pound preemie that's a miracle, but that's my Ellie for you. With Annie, well, she decided to take a bit longer, but I think we can finally count on some good sleep. YAY!!